The killing of the innocents in Connecticut and the gang rape and death of the young 23 year old Indian girl in Delhi clouded this Christmas for many of us. Wrestling with these tragedies, I came across a book by Shelly Rombo called Spirit and Trauma: A Theology of Remaining. She argues that we need a new theological language to comfort survivors of intense suffering. Here is a brief summary of her complex and layered thinking.
The pain of the families and loved ones never ends. Haunted by flashbacks and night mares, they live in the time between death and life; they exist in the middle space between, crucifixion and resurrection. Rombo critiques the church when the Easter story is read in a linear fashion and assumes victory over suffering and death. The survivors see life through wounds. They live in the territory of remaining where the death of their loved one is always present in the midst of their own lives.
One of the images she uses to comfort survivors is the scene of Jesus’ decent into hell. Holy Saturday celebrates a divine love story when Christ totally identifies with those who are forsaken in hell. God’s loves sustains these survivors and gives them the power to persist not triumph, to bear not conquer.
A second important image in Rambo’s book comes from the scene in which Jesus tells John, his beloved disciple to remain in his love. This word is often translated as abide. I recall the old hymn, “Abide with me, fast falls the evening tide. The darkness deepens, Lord with me abide.” Rambo suggests that the Spirit remains in the abyss with the survivors and calls us to do the same. God’s love is not extinguished as we stand by each other in the shadow of Holy Saturday.
I see a hopeful element arising out of these tragedies. The public outcry demanding gun control in the United States and justice for rape victims in India is a way of witnessing and remaining in the abyss created by these violent attacks.
People who have suffered trauma find healing in the telling of their story but the truth of their pain is often unspeakable. It is up to us as caring people to remain with those who live in the territory of remaining. We are called to witness and to listen to their brokenness and not give pat answers. We need to sense or track where love is visible at the point where it is invisible. We need to help those who exist in this middle space between life and death to imagine the future and begin to create life from the starting point of death. Redemption is not about deliverance from the depths of hell but a way of being that senses life arising out of what remains.